The Unknown Dimension

Hazaron Khwaishein Aisi

2011-12-11T10:45:00.000-08:00

The eternal search for peace of mind and those fleeting moments of happiness bring you face to face with the toughest of quandaries in life so often. What do you choose? Which way do you take? What will give you internal peace? You want a hundred things and eventually get a thousand; some of which were what you wanted. But then why is there no peace still? Why do ghosts of the past haunt you in your mind masquerading as sweet memories? Why is it easy to forget banal things but not those seemingly eternal memories which fill your heart with nothing but desperation? No, this life and this world are perhaps not good enough to appreciate love and compassion. So I'll wait, not just for the three, four, five years that I did, but for a lifetime, and another, and for another world where there is no space for treachery and malice, for hopelessness and desperation, where love and care shall prevail over all guile and jealously. And in that world and time, you and I will meet again, never to be parted by ourselves or even the end of time......

Pain

2007-11-30T23:59:00.001-08:00

Source: http://www.phy.iitb.ac.in/psiphy - (Psi-Phy Mag)

Pain has an aura and a mystic glow
It teaches through tarnished remembrances
No matter what valour or courage we show
The resolute tears must wet our eyelashes

Pain gives resolve to some, to some despair
Those of stout heart fight on and do not yield
Unsheathed, the sword of hope is bold and bare
And held aloft, the battle hardened shield

For where pain burns away decaying souls
It plants new saplings of new lofty goals

AUGUSTUS

Missing something....

2006-10-06T03:15:00.000-07:00

1.) Rains in IIT
2.) Crappy mess food
3.) Coffee Shack
4.) Sammie's cries in the wing
5.) Nakul torturing Baap
6.) Moti and his stupidity
7.) "Smokin Joe's" and Shashi's stories of Joe and Isabella and his
version of insti.'s gossip.
8.) Tikoo and the art of cogging
9.) Kammo, Chaube, Satyam, Tau, Mishra and those 3 girls
from D. Y. Patil....

Something in the Eye

2006-09-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

For someone:

Something has happened.... is it a dream? I wonder. But it sure is of the stuff dreams are made of. It's amazing how life can take one on a high one moment and then throw him/her from there into the abysmal dungeons. One should be brave and should face life and learn to win.

Every moment in our lives is a choice between life and death. Our happiness or the lack of it depends on the choices we make. Take control of your life before it takes control of you.

I should go to bed now.... been a very miserable day.

The Old Beaten Track!

2006-02-28T11:35:00.000-08:00

I still remember my very first day in IIT. When I had walked in to a world so different I had never imagined that one day I would be associated with so many uniquely eccentric people - each one with his own amazing trait. It is indeed impossible to find such people out here in an alien world no matter how hard one tries. Or probably one does find them but is not ready to give them the same place in his heart as those people of yesteryears. And when one looks back in his deepest dreams at those wonder years it is not only these people who haunt him but even those trees, those rooms, that mess, that wonderful canteen of freshie time and then Raghu’s revolutionary canteen with its fried rice and stuff… What strikes me perhaps more than the others is this amazing “infinite” road (as I call it). This is the road which takes everyone everywhere. 8 walks on it and so do 5, 9, 12, 13 and my beloved 6. Silently it leads one to his destiny. Four years later it has made me travel miles across the plains and brought me here, to the war zone pepping me to fight with my hands tied and win. I really wonder how long I can survive the guile of this murky world. I do not claim to have learnt complex formulae or complex algorithms in IIT, neither have I truly learnt anything related to boilers or refrigerators but I have definitely imbibed in myself the typical “never give up” attitude and I am more than confident of reducing any such challenge to cipher.

Today when I think of this road I am vividly reminded of the beautiful yellow flowers adorning it in this month of Feb/March and of divine morning sunlight ushering in through the canopy of trees along it. It is one of my most cherished memories of IIT and is so invigorating that it rekindles the die-hard spirit in me.

Deepak Dhaba!

2005-12-25T08:32:00.000-08:00

Hmmmmm... Deepak Dhaba - sasta n tikau - place where i have dinner n a place which goes a long way in proving the 'String Theory'. Menu's as follows
Aloo Parantha - Rs. 5
Dal Fry - Rs. 10
Plain Rice - Rs, 10 per plate (ususally half a plate is more than enuf)
Mixed Veg. (or any Veg. dish for that matter) - Rs. 15 per plate
Chicken stuff ranges from Rs. 35 to Rs. 45
Veg. Thali - Rs. 25
Non Veg. Thali - Rs. 40
Chicken Kathi Roll - Rs. 20
ummm.... thats all i can remember

Coming back to the intricate relationship between DB n String Theory... well try ordering something on the menu, there's only 25% chance of getting it. It reminds me a lot of Quantum Mechanics and Schrodinger, of parellel Universes, non-uniqueness of the 'Big Bang' and the principle of uncertainity. I'm really suspicious of the waiters there... ;) Anyways, I found this an apt place for applying my 'Game Theory' faculties. Here's a small anecdote:

TVS: Wats on the menu today?
Janga (our dear'ol waiter): Veg. blah blah blah, Non Veg. blah blah blah
TVS: Get me 2 Aaloo Paranthe and a plate of Plak Paneer
Janga: wokay
TVS: n also a plain omlett "without onion or tomato - completely PLAIN" (pointed out very articulately)
Janga: I'll try
TVS (bemused)

15 min. later TVS gets a plate of Aloo Paneer, 2 Aloo Paranthes n an omlett without onion or tomato but with a generous kissing of green chillies which he gratefully accepts gloating to himself "gotcha"....

Naukri Blues...

2005-11-15T23:09:00.000-08:00

Hmmm..... finally feels like I'm working, getting a feel of the real world, away from the protected and cozy life of yesteryears. I still remember the very first day of this quest that I call 'Job' - I woke up at around 9 in the morning in an exorbitantly priced hotel room in Kolkata feeling tired and with a feeling that I was in Pune doing my internship - so much so that I could feel the presence of Satyam, Tau, Mishra, Chaube and particularly Kammo..... anyway - the point is the first few months were a mere cake walk - much like the internship. But of late things have changed drastically with 'big responsibilities' being handed down to me in the absence of senior members (I still can't believe I'm directly responsible for the outcome of a project worth 5 Crores hehehe..... God help STPI n PwC!). I used to hate staying back till late in the nights at Bangalore but here I am with only one thing in my head - I have to finish the project ASAP. Its been 15 days of continous work now with mere 9 hour breaks for dinner, sleep n gym for me..... worked on weekends n on holidays :-(( - I only pity the poor driver who looks at us with pleading eyes and says "Saab aaj toh mere baaki doston ki bhi chuuti hai - koi gaadi leker nahi gaya", "Saab kal toh Sunday hai..." :-))))

A Mysterious Hole

2005-11-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

Doesn’t it happen so often that all of a sudden you get a feeling that time has zipped through – like time travel, one moment you are here and the next you are gone – hurled way in to the future amongst people you don’t know, in an alien place with ‘memories’ of the ‘present’ so clear in your mind? I’ve been getting this feeling for the past several days. But more than that I’m worried about the hole in time which this ‘time-travel’ has left, ever increasing with the passage of time, unchecked – engulfing each and every minute since that fateful moment of September 15th when I had left Bangalore. Within it lies my agony of missing out on my Convocation. It has enveloped memories of the good times that I had with the family which provided me shelter when I no place to go (if I rule out Tikoo – which btw is a big ‘if’ given his size :-)) ), of the quite and peaceful life in the Saket office, of the excoriating pain of 764 and 711, of the peace of 717 and 801, of the 5 hour journeys to a place about 60 km. from home daily, of being left stranded at Connaught Place and making it home at 11:40 in the night after taking lift in a truck and hitting back the next day by reporting over 3 hrs. late to work, of the pain caused by the resuscitated ulcer in my stomach and the consequent treatment when Sir Gangaram cut a hole in my pocket, of the pejoratives of people who wanted me out, of bounced cheques, bounced promises and bounced egos of insignificant people, of whiskey and white lies, of more whiskey and whiter lies, of finding Eden after infi. fight… and there are so many more memories which ought to be chronicled but this hole has blacked them out of my memory.

On September 18th when I was shifting to my apartment at 11:00 in the night I saw glimpses of this hole in the sky – only this time it was completely white, inverted in color and in character – completely round reminding me of a time gone by instead of blacking things out – reviving memories of the long walk that I had in Bangalore when I had decided that I had to leave for Delhi – I remembered that that was a full moon night too. In the past few days things have been changing so dramatically that I’m forced to frown at this hole in the sky. Moreover it has thrown at me this nasty feeling that the past month was actually a dream and that I’ve woken up now albeit in a different place away from snoring Shiva and Nimit – but still threads from this dream arise and mingle with the fabric of my present…

Another one down.....

2005-09-08T05:57:00.000-07:00

Finally got done with The Hobbit.....in fact i watched all three parts of LOTR again n again while reading it.....ummmm perhaps someone shud make a movie on it - in fact there's a cartoon movie called 'The Hobbit' but i'd rather call it a spoof of the novel :-))

Started off with Veronica Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho..... its already making me think big time - he's perhaps my fav. author - i'll put up the blurb shortly (as soon as i finish it) - besides i'll also put up a poem about the Nazguls that ive written.....

the week ahead.....

2005-09-08T05:42:00.000-07:00

hmmm..... old friends calling..... gotta leave for the convo. Btw once again i was at my best in delaying things to the very last moment - this time like last year the victim was CAT application form :-)) anyways managed to send it today - next target is to remember that i have to write it :-)

Training.....................................................

2005-08-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

God! when the hell wud this shit end? Now i have to get trained with the client :-(( For me it just means long boring sessions where i gotta do nothing and most of the stuff goes over my head..... i try hard to understand though :-) - i must start reading pretty soon or i'll get screwed :-))

Anyways there has been an interesting turn of events - im waiting for the right oppurtunity to strike.....

An intoxicating weekend

2005-08-29T06:21:00.000-07:00

Saturday: Went to a rock show with Ramamurthy. Pretty gud although nowhere close to the ranks of Livewire@MI. It soo much reminded me of those lovely Decembers in IIT when rock and loud music used to be in the air..... had a beer mug at Pecos - pretty gud place to be i shud say - they play beautiful 70s rock.....

Sunday: Waz pretty boring until Tandon turned up and I remembered that it was his b'day :-)..... yet another year of Tandon PJs went by and the world has managed to survive (gud show). The four of us (Chinmay Patil, Nimit, Tandon n me)after much haggling went to Oblivion (sounded like a gay pub to me - since Tandon's into them big time :P). Anyways it was another night of Whiskey for me (didnt get high though).....

Chain of events

2005-08-25T05:30:00.000-07:00

Last tuesday I set in motion a very precarious chain of events which has the potential to deface my career - all for an illusion which in the end may not yield what it propounds now. I don't know why I did it but I do not regret doing it. I've only kept my fingers crossed.....

A Walk to Remember.....

2005-08-24T01:21:00.000-07:00

Last friday I walked back home from the office. It's about 8km from the M G Road office to my place. I could have taken an auto but I don't know why I didn't though it was drizzling. Probably I needed time to think over things - I felt that I was losing direction. The events of the last few weeks have really stirred my soul. I still remember how happy I was when I was alloted Bangalore as my final location. Now that I'm in Bangalore I wonder why I'm not happy.....

Anyways, it was evocative of the long walks that I used to have from H6 to Devi Temple at IIT to gather my thoughts and chalk out my strategy in critical situations - this is one thing from my IIT days that I really miss.....

What I miss the most in CS.....

2005-08-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

Aztec surely. I liked it so much that my maiden video had this map in the backdrop. Being a hardcore terro I used to find Aztec the most challenging arena. Even the most amateur Counter-terros (CTs) used to grab a sniper and always aim at the doors and the bridge. One wrong step and your head would be knocked off. Imagine a team of 10-15 each and half of the CTs defending with snipers not to mention people like Tango Charlie (Pilli) and Stealth (Kulin) rushing out of the doors and carrying out a massacre of unsuspecting terrors from behind. Getting killed by them was the most frustrating part.

Nevertheless, there was hardly a time when the spirit of the terros receded. I can still recall the pre-round strategies forged to combat the unfair advantage that the CTs possessed. "Let's storm the gate", "Storm the bridge", "Rush through the water", "Hold back".....n all. This for me was the funniest part. People taking charge used to falter when needed. Within seconds the snipers would take out half of the terrors. The only way to win was to pray for the CTs to charge. Not to mention it still used to be a Herculian task.

I loved taking out the snipers across the bridge with the AK 47. It used to be particularly difficult until I discovered a neat trick. The snipers across the bridge aim at the hall from a distance. A smoke bomb well thrown would impair their visibilty for some time. However, it can sometimes back fire. Anyways, once the smoke bomb covers the entrance of the bridge, the snipers lose sight and this is the best time for the terro snipers and gunners to take positions. Towards the end of my stay at IITB, I discovered that the over zealousness of CTs taking charge at the door (entrance to site A) could be handled better by an AK 47 gunner aiming at head height and firing continuosly rather than a Machine Gunner doing the same. I remember killing scores of CTs this way. They used to get into the line of fire :-))

This was perhaps the only map where the CTs dominated - I hate to lose and Aztec meant loads of frustration but still I used to play on this map just for the thrill.....

CS Credits

2005-08-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

Hats off to the fellows who lived and created history (exclusive list of H6 junta)

Abbatoir
Aimetti
Bankelal
Bulla
Captain Fear
Cezanne
CSlee
Dean
Dhruva
Dreadwerkz
Gandu Baccha
Lets See
Nail
Narsil
Pheadrus
Professor
Ronin
Slayer
Smoke
Spartan
Stealth
Tatti Kheladi
Tango Charlie
The Real Doga
Tunna
Vazeer
Vector
Venom
Zim

Reminiscences of a Glorious Past.....

2005-08-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

May 23 2005. That was when VaZEEr last prowled on the Counter-Strike servers of IITB.